The Handsome Bear

Why should you never underestimate a handsome bear?

The handsome bear knows how to dress. Bears always look good in a tuxedo, whereas humans rarely do. Similarly, put a bear in top hat and tails and you are really in trouble. He'll have all the right accessories too; monocle, walking cane, spats, you name it. You'll be at a wedding or on a date and if you leave your lady unattended for even a moment she'll feel that hot honey breath on the back of her neck, a seductive paw on her shoulder and it will all be over as Mr. Bear growls into her ear, "There's a picnic waiting for you in the woods".

Then there's the more modern-thinking handsome bear. All he needs to seduce your woman is a pair of shades and he leaves everything else as nature intended. You'll probably find him leaning nonchalantly against a lamppost or a tree, legs crossed and arms folded in a casual, self-assured manner. As his target approaches he'll slowly lean forward, lowering his shades down his snout with a large paw and staring over the top at the lady's toosh. He is not so vulgar as to whistle, but instead lets out a low sexy growl. She doesn't know what to think. She's flattered, but flustered. It's a bear for heaven's sake! All she can do is titter behind her hand and teeter hurriedly away down the street, glancing continuously back over her shoulder at the bear who has resumed his relaxed pose against the lamppost.

Not to be beaten our handsome bear returns to his den to retrieve his secret weapon, a gleaming red cabriolet. He slips the key into the ignition and revs the engine. He sets off out of the woods, one arm draped on the back of the passenger seat, the elbow of the other resting easily on the window frame. Heads turn. He soaks up the attention but is careful to retain an air of disinterest, as if to say "I'd could have you back at the den in under 60 seconds". This time his target doesn't stand a chance. He rounds the street corner and slows to a cruising speed. There she is. Keeping pace with her as she walks, bear once again lowers his shades. She is visibly blushing, though trying hard not to turn her head. "Honey", he purrs. It's all over.


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