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S.P.O.R.T.S. (Sports Projectile Original Real Technique Squad)
An ingenious marketing strategy involving both the promotion of physical exercise through sport as well as the mass-consumption of an endless range of plastic figures and accessories. The S.P.O.R.T.S. title is also a convoluted attempt to fit an acronym around a neat one-word title that has too many letters to possibly yield anything meaningful.
The S.P.O.R.T.S. team consists of 5 multicultural boys and girls from different backgrounds, each representing an all-American sport. The one thing they have in common is that using their S.P.O.R.T.S. equipment allows them to perform super human feats and destroy evil/unhealthy enemies, such as gangs trying to peddle drugs to kids or fast food restaurants. The irony will come when official S.P.O.R.T.S. goods are available free with a Happy Meal. Every commercial break between episodes is crammed to the brim with official merchandise, which mostly consists of normal sports gear re-branded at twice the price.
The dynamic team is made up of the following heroic youths:
Terry Tackle – the pure-bread W.A.S.P. jock. Blond, muscular and full of good-humoured vitality.
Weapon of choice – the grid iron pig skin of course!
Sam Dunk – the savvy black street kid. Tall, black and good at rapping/jiving.
Weapon of choice – the b-ball.
Sinita Court – Latina teen tennis star. Beautiful and dark with a sharp tongue. Doesn't take any nonsense from the boys.
Weapon of choice – racket and endless supply of balls.
Pavel Puck – The only real foreigner in the gang. A Canadian of Russian decent. Butch but with a heart of gold.
Weapon of choice – full ice hockey kit, stick and pucks.
Rocco Cleats – Italian American baseball pitcher. Greasy quiff of black hair and year's supply of wisecracks. Slightly overweight to show that even the un-sporty kids can excel at sport if they put their minds to it.
Weapon of choice – mitt and lucky ball that always finds its way back.
Our tale begins with each member being secretly recruited while innocently training at their respective schools/street corners. The kids are in shock and awe as they are led into the secret S.P.O.R.T.S. base hidden behind the scoreboard at a major football stadium. Their mysterious leader only communicates with them through a large TV monitor, his identity remaining a mystery as he hands out the weekly mission objective to the gang. When not in active service each member of the gang goes about their normal school life until called into action by a flashing belt or similar contraption. As the title would suggest most missions are completed by the gang throwing/hitting their respective projectiles at enemies.