World Justice League

Riding the postmodern wave of tolerance and multiculturalism, FOX T.V. executives decide to create a brand new show for their Saturday morning lineup that significantly beefs up the public responsibility portion of their commercial investor/FCC regulatory-aimed information publications: The World Justice League!, a cartoon about a crack team of crime fighting superheroes whose members each represent one of the major cultures that comprise the world society. Ostensibly an effort to increase awareness of different peoples, the show of course only serves to significantly reinforce existing and create new stereotypes.

The team:

Jack Blaster - A blond (possibly brown)-haired, blue-eyed homebred American hero who wears dungarees and a leather coat, he's the leader of the League. With a voice as strong and firm as his chest, he's always there to pull the team together in times of crisis.
Weapon: laser hand-gun.

Gerald Graham - A Brit, he's Jack's right-hand man and second in command. Gentlemanly and proper to the core, he's the counterweight to the lead man. Always there to nonchalantly stroll in through the front door of the enemy stronghold while rolling his eyes after Jack blasts a hole the size of Missouri in the fucker with a heavy dose of C4.
Weapon: maybe a cane-sword or something.

Running Bravewind - A Native American who has the obligatory feather headband, blue leather shirt, a bead necklace and moccasins. Through his mysterious Indian dances and medicines created from pulverizing various plants, he can invoke the power of the supernatural in helping the League out of sticky situations.
Familiar: hawk.

Nikolai Petnevky - A frickin' HUGE Russian beefcake who snaps tree trunks like they were toothpicks and has a penchant for solving problems with brute force. A gentle giant, he sometimes lets out a hearty guffaw as he gives his superfriends a congratulatory slap on the back after a particularly impressive victory, sending his hapless buddy tumbling forward onto the ground.
Weapon: nothin' but his swollen-ass muscles.

Pierre DuBois - A snippy Frenchman with a black and white horizontal striped shirt, black beret and pink cravat. Ostensibly has nothing but disdain for the way the League goes about it's business (he thinks he could do better on his own), but deep down he's one of the team to the core. Always horrified when Blaster and Co. destroy some fine wine or fantastic piece of art in their pursuit of evildoers.
Weapon: none, really. He's one of those characters who's just a pain in the ass for the other guys.

Suzuki Kamikaze - A ninja.

Thabo Ghamabun - An African tribal warrior who is friend to all animals and the earth. There's no place where this resourceful youth doesn't feel right at home; he could make it anywhere. Able to call upon his animal friends to maul the appropriate baddies at will.
Weapon: would a spear be going too far here?

Gorky Lancaster - Australian guy who wears one of those hats with the one side folded up and can throw a boomerang like you wouldn't believe. Says "mate" a LOT.
Familiar: a kangaroo who hops around with a koala in his pouch. Aside from providing hilarious, cute comic relief, the koala helps get the crew out of binds such as squeezing through the bars of a heavily fortified cell that the friends are trapped in to retrieve the keys.

Rahim Halabin - A fabulously wealthy Indian prince, he always makes the most spectacular entrances such as riding in on an elephant with a golden, diamond-encrusted saddle. His turban contains a mysterious ancient gem that he can use to mesmerize and control the minds of unwitting guards.

The enemy:

A fat industrial tycoon whose plans to take over the world include both polluting the hell out of the world's oceans and other natural resources with toxic sludge as well as getting little kids hooked on drugs and cigarettes. His minions include an army of mindless, uniform, square-jawed humans, but his main henchmen are:
1) a humanoid bull with bullets and grenades strapped onto his chest
2) a lanky, tall, pterodactyl with flight goggles and a high-pitched sneer.

Other characters may appear depending on where the League's adventures take them as well as what the sales figures are for the other character's action figures for the first quarter.

Brenda Kong - Smart, sassy modern Hong Kong Chinese woman. Represents all that can be achieved by a woman in the modern world, though still venerates old Chinese beliefs. Wears a "China dress" teamed with a briefcase and "secretary" glasses. She uses her laptop to hack into mainframes and the like but often reverts to tai chi, kanpo and acupuncture.

Franc Fürter - German obviously. Rotund, ruddy cheeked and dressed in complete traditional Bavarian costume, including lederhosen and feathered hat. Speeks with thick germanic accent. Often gets distracted from missions by steins full of beer and plates of bratvurst, much to the annoyance of his comrades. Makes up for this by leaping from the dinner table and cracking the heads of the enemy stooges together and then roaring with laughter.
When duty calls he can make use of his special weapon - the Alpine horn - whose deafening blast leaves enemies susceptible to more head cracking. When not in active service he "entertains" the team with horn music, much to their dismay.

Dougal McTavish - A rugged Scotsman with a shock of ginger hair, a ginger beard and full Scottish dress. Speaks in very broad Scots accent, much to the confusion of the American members of the team and amusement of British counterparts. Skills involve producing a seemingly endless supply of useful goods from the sporran hung over his kilt, including whiskey to revive people when frozen or knocked unconscious. Also comes out with wide variety of old Scots phrases to meet all occasions and often jokes about not wearing anything under his kilt.
Special weapon is the caber, which mysteriously appears for Dougal to toss at and knock down whole hoards of enemies in one go.

Sheik Abdullah Abdalqadir - a Muslim oil sheik. Thoroughly in tune with the Western capitalist world, though has good line in Muslim phrases like "May Allah curse you" etc. Has penchant for odd Middle Eastern delicacies and delights in the disgust of his comrades when he eats monkey brains etc.
Special skills include camel riding and the ability to command sand storms to rise up and engulf enemies.

Kalik Kluckkanacukk - Eskimo hunter from the Alaskan tundra. Always plays a vital role whenever the superfriends are in a cold area by riding in on his dogsled/skis, and throwing his hunting spear with precision accuracy. Whenever they're not in the frozen wilderness, however, just kind of stands around and has a token line such "look out!", if any at all. Always accompanied by his faithful wolf companion.


BACK