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Ok, first of all just know that the fate of the free world is now in the clutches of small Eastern European toad with a monocle and a patchwork trenchcoat. And all of the worlds major man-made land marks (Big Ben, Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower, etc.) are all swaying atop a volcano hung in a threadbare fishing net. A global military unit called X-Nuggers! ®, a helicopter-ace strike force composed of American Olympic Basketball players, sidles about the imminent scene.
Baron Von Wart, mastermind behind an effort to melt down all of the worlds treasured monuments (in order to make a much larger monument of himself), stands practically unopposed by any real threat to his plan. The X-Nuggers! ® co-captain and point guard Lt. Maj. Dribbles Druthers radios the White House in an act of desperation. The commander in chief alerts the entire nation that Big Ben and the like are on the verge of a fiery doom. Traffic is stopped from coast to coast in the US (and elsewhere)!
Of course this goes on. Cut to last scene:
After a complete breakfast, 3rd grader Christopher White, a small black child from 'The Streets, USA' comes tearing out of the clouds on parasail motored by his Caucasian girlfriend riding a Da Vinci-esque flying bicycle. Pouring the contents of a sparkling liquid over a basketball, Chris marvels at its rapidly growing size. The young boy musters the strength to heave the orange mammoth into the volcano, lighting up a not-before-seen scoreboard with a game winning series of lava-lit numbers. BOOM! The mountain implodes from the pressure, creating a lava flow that swamps Von Wart's foot soldiers and melts all of their recently developed technologies. The fascist amphibian is high-stepping as the creeping lava nears his hover-throne. In the end, the throne is consumed by hot ash and the Baron runs to the hills screeching and croaking with fire under his feet.
A grand congratulations for little Chris and his white girlfriend from the The X-Nuggers! ® team. Both the grade-schoolers go home with personalized jerseys, gold medals and...well, lets just say Lt. Maj. Druthers gets a harmless peck on the cheek from Chris's beau...and Chris does too! In a matter of seconds, the monuments are restored to their rightful locations and the The X-Nuggers! ® team slices through an evening sky in their war birds.